Porn / Sex Addiction
I see men and teenagers dealing with a wide range of issues, but concerns about pornography use and other compulsive sexual behaviors have become a significant part of my practice. I didn’t set out to become the “porn therapist” in Charleston, but I’ve learned to address this awkward topic in a forthright manner. Many of the guys I treat for porn issues actually come to me initially for other reasons. It’s often during the course of my standard intake that we discover that porn use has become a concern in a client’s life.
I began my counseling career just as smartphones became commonplace. Porn has been around forever, but smartphones were a complete gamechanger. This has been a particular challenge for teenage boys. As they go through puberty and develop a normal curiosity about sex, internet porn can sometimes hijack the process of typical, healthy exploration.
Although “porn addiction” is still not an official diagnosis in the standard psychological manuals, I can assure you that it’s real. I’ve worked with hundreds of adults and teenagers who’ve struggled to moderate or eliminate their use of pornography. It has all the hallmarks of addiction to alcohol and drugs:
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Cravings and inability to limit use
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Continued use despite negative consequences
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Increasing tolerance (need for more to get the same effect)
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Negative impact on work/school performance
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Strains on personal relationships
One of the challenges of porn is that there are no clearly established benchmarks of what is “normal” or “acceptable” amounts like there is with alcohol or substances. I screen all my clients (regardless of why they initially come to see me) about their porn use. Although it’s a potentially awkward subject, this direct approach has led to some important conversations.
Over the years, I have developed a protocol for working with teenagers and adults who want to moderate their porn use. I’m pleased to report that it’s generally been effective, particularly if the client is motivated to make a change. One of the keys is stripping away the anonymity of the behavior and requiring honest accountability in our sessions.
Because of my extensive treatment experience, I’ve been invited to speak about porn addiction at the annual Lowcountry Mental Health Conference. I also offered presentations to the S.C. Society for Clinical Social Workers as well as various psychotherapist educational programs.
" Lowcountry Mental Health Conference presentation "
